folklorist | ϡ - Chapter TwentyOne; Return [action/voice]

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ϡ - Chapter TwentyOne; Return [action/voice]

[ There’s the sound of shaky uneven breathing coming over the transmission and then a cough or two. It’s almost as if the person on the other side is a bit startled, a bit confused and a bit in pain. The sharp intake of breath and the murmured exclamation of surprise doesn’t really yield anymore good results for those listening in. ] I-I can’t…

[ Helios can’t see more specifically he can’t see out of his right eye and it’s very troublesome if not startling. As if he didn’t run into things frequently enough—now this was just added to it. Next will come a painful humorless laugh very odd and uncharacteristic from his lips. But how could a man who has perfect vision not laugh at now only having half his vision. The Malnosso have a sick sense of humor indeed. ] Oh how very ironic of them. [ A sigh. ]

I’m back. I’m terribly sorry…to have worried anyone. But I'm fine.

[ Such a lie. It’s said in a very tired voice not the usual flair or characteristic upbeat tone the man usually has. ] I-I’ll be back to the apartment shortly, in a moment, I just need to-- [ It was supposed to be a healing spell and yet it went so very wrong. There's a sharp yell of pain on his end before a breathless confused one worded exclamation. ] Wh-what!?

[ The transmission will be abruptly cut off and if you’re anywhere in the town square today you can see a blonde haired man slumped against a building his right hand over his right eye and half of his face covered in freshly drawn blood, no thanks to a healing spell backfiring on him of course, also his entire right side seems to be bloodied like the Malnosso only worked on that half of him. If he wasn’t in pain he’d be making it back to the apartment by now but as it stands the blood lose plus lacking sight isn’t helping any. The feed is turned on again after he’s gotten a fair handle on himself. He really just doesn’t want to alarm anyone right now that’s just how he is. ] I’m going to need some...some more t-time. Perhaps some...assistance as well. My apologies.

[Helios is not going to say what’s wrong but you’ll probably find out through his voice alone something unforeseen has occurred, because it’s riddled with confusion. How could this have happened; he was just trying to heal himself and now…this. They did something his spells that was the only clear definitive answer. Now he just needed to figure out how to fix it. Helios will be staggering to his feet and leaning against the side of the building as he makes his way back to C7. ]

(( ooc; No posting order and time and space are broken. Who needs chronological events anyway? So multiple people can help him. He totally needs it anyway. ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was uncalled for and inconsiderate of me. [ But he is still curious because his own...but, no, it really is none of his business. He will let the other tell him on his own time should he ever feel the need to or want to.

Helios' eyebrows raise a little at that. Mental issues? God he probably just opened up so many old wounds for the other--how could he be so inconsiderate like that? ]

Oh. I-I didn't know. [ He won't watch, or at least try not to with his one eye. ] I hope I haven't caused you-- [ He shakes his head the motion making his head spin probably from the blood lose. ] --of course I have. Robert, I'm truly sorry.

H-Hardly... I haven't had, er, many friends... [... really, he hasn't had any until now...] ... but f-friends ask questions like that. Out of, er, wishing to comprehend their friends' lives. I, er, d-don't find it an issue to... ask. [He just finds it an issue to talk about.]

A-At any rate, it's hardly anything you would b-be expected to know about. So please, there's hardly any need to apologize.

B-Besides... I... I should... I should trust s-someone I mean to, er, ask about p-possibly being my partner, shouldn't I? [And Robert blushes fiercely.]

A-Anyway... now that m-most of the blood's gone, I should, er, see about any other injuries you have...

[ Helios will smile and it's at least a comforting smile at that. ] They do, yes. But you hardly have to talk about if you don't wish to.

[ Wait what? His partner? He couldn't possibly mean. Helios has a very profound and confused look on his face. There might be some embarrassment mixed in as well it's hard to really tell. ] P-Pardon?

Ahh y-yes other...injuries. I-I should be fine to take care of those. You've done enough as it is! [ He does not need Robert seeing his own scars. Because they, unlike Robert's, are very profound and horrible looking. ]

It's... not that I don't wish to... [How do you find words for this?] J-just, difficult. [So much baggage around it. So many mistakes that Robert would rather not admit.]

Ah. ... P-perhaps that isn't a term you're familiar with, Helios?

I... I wasn't going to speak of it now, but you s-seem to have recovered s-somewhat, and... [Robert flushes, glancing away slightly.] W-Well, I spoke with... with Donatello. On the day after the... experiments ended. The... V-Valentine's experiments, that is. And I c-came to the conclusion I was, er, still... l-legitimately attracted to both you and Don and I asked him about whether we could p-possibly be... in a r-relationship in the future and then I wondered p-perhaps if you could be included - th-though, normally I'm not p-polyamorous but, er, I'm c-certainly not adverse and maybethatwouldbealrightI'mnotcertainbutofcourseit'suptoyouand...

[Robert trails off, breathing shakily.]

I, I... ah... I... h-hope that it isn't, e-er, a problem. [He really hopes it isn't a problem.]

A-And... nonsense. I'd, I... would w-wish to help you. It's hardly a burden, I d-don't mind at all... [Not like Robert's scars aren't horrible-looking.]

Things like that are always difficult. The circumstances around them and such. [ A warm smile he can at least manage that much.

He holds up his hands while laughing. ] N-No I am. I'm just...confused.

[ Oh dear this just got so much worse. He still feelings for him, of all people to have feelings for? Helios looks so conflicted right now. How is he supposed to even begin saying why this could never happen? Why was this happening? It was always the Malnosso and yet this was also his fault. It would also be his fault. A shaky exhale from him. ]

Um...R-Robert I-I can't. I'm so sorry. I just can't...lie and tell you there isn't a problem. B-But it's not you. [ Helios will look at his hand still a little crusted with blood. He looks terrible because he had hoped this wouldn't have happened. Robert didn't deserve him anyway, cold unfeeling and hardly anything special. He was unable to return any such feelings the other had for him. Nothing from Valentine's day stuck; it was all the Malnosso's fault. He looks back at the other man a very sullen expression on his face. He will shift and try to get up then wincing as he does so. He doesn't...he doesn't want to burden Robert anymore especially now that he knows the other's feelings. ]

I can understand if you don't wish to after this. It's understandable.

Ah...

[Robert's face falls. It's a punch in the gut to hear that. Outright rejection. The same kind of painfully blunt rejection that Benjamin gave him after their final argument.

And then of course, Robert had run away.]

Helios... ... [Robert reaches out, haltingly, to try to take his bloodied hand, and stops midway, his fingers just hanging there shakily.] ... W-What did I... do wrong? [Because there's no way it isn't him. There's no way this wonderful man could ever be at fault.]

... or... o-or is there someone else and y-you're, you're already involved? [Frederic, maybe? Robert doesn't know but he feels ashamed, ashamed for asking. Ashamed for still wanting Helios even now, wanting to kiss him again, bloody or otherwise.]

B-But regardless if you don't w-want to it's fine... I p-probably don't deserve you anyway, Helios. You're... j-just so wonderful that I...

[Robert has to stop to wipe a few small, hot tears away. This shouldn't hurt. Helios has the right to turn him down. But gods rejection hurts. It hurts like swallowing shrapnel.]

... no. N-no, it's... it's alright. I... I still want to help you. You're... s-still my... my friend, right...? ... that... that means enough to me, it's... it's no trouble... [It's not even a lie; his feelings are too obvious. It's more just outright denial. But at the same time Robert does value Helios' friendship... he just wishes that, whatever he'd done to hurt his chances of it being more, that he hadn't done it.]

[ He is at fault he will always be at fault. He is a murderer and nothing more. Wonderful isn't indicative to him and yet Helios can't help but blink back a few tears. This is digging up so many things for him; so many memories and unwanted pains. Pains in his chest, pains on his arms and everywhere else. He was just so--so tired. All he wanted to do was rest. ]

It's not you. [ He might clench his hands into fists biting his lip almost dangerously close to splitting it open. ] It's me. It's always me. Robert you...you never did anything wrong. I-If anything you allowed me to have memories of being loved again. You allowed me...to be able to give it to someone again. I-I just...can't feel it anymore.

[ He looks very tired now along with extremely sad and lonely. He feels terrible to even say such a thing. It was all just a big mess wasn't it? Another shaky sigh escapes his lips. ] There used to be someone. [ Elise. God he misses her so much. He wishes she was here sometimes. But this place is horrid; he could never put her through this. ]

You're better off with Donatello. He can at least return those feelings to you. I'm...definately not worth anyone's time. Especially not someone like yourself who's capable of holding so much love...enough for two people at that. I had my chance. You shouldn't waste yours either.

I-I never said I wasn't going to continue being that. You're a rather wonderful person to talk to, Robert. I would enjoy still being your friend. [ Because that's all he ever can be to anyone. He'll go quiet looking at the floor still. If only Robert hadn't fallen for him; he wouldn't be experiencing this pain. ]

[Robert sees those tears in Helios' eyes - both his usable one and the blinded one - and his metaphorical heart bleeds. Helios, don't cry. It's alright.

Robert shakes his head, not understanding.] ... not... anymore? [Why not? That's the unspoken question.] B-but, but Helios... you... you deserve to be loved...

[Used to be. Used to be. Helios was alone, just like he had been.] ... There was a someone for me, before here... b-but... but then I... ... I ruined it. [Somehow Donatello still wanted him but he'd ruined his last relationship and feeling this again maybe he'd ruin it for him too and he didn't want to ruin it for a wonderful person like that... And Helios. Helios looked exhausted.]

Th-that's not true, Helios. You... y-you're certainly worth someone's time... I don't understand why you don't f-feel that way. There's... nothing wrong with you in a-any way at all that I can see. Just, just a kind, gentle, w-warmhearted... [He trails off, his voice low. He's beautiful. How could Helios ever feel like he wasn't deserving of love?]

... [And after a long pause:] ... I... I'd enjoy that t-too, Helios. [And Robert hesitantly, gently, takes Helios' cold, bloodied hand in his own. He wants to embrace Helios, kiss him, tell him he's wonderful - he doesn't. He just holds Helios' hand and wishes that those feelings could be communicated somehow.]

[ Helios will shake his head eyes closed. ] No. Not anymore. Do I really deserve it? I do wonder that myself sometimes. [ Did the man who killed his soul mate really deserve a second chance at that? It all seemed too good for someone like him. ] Then we're the same in those regards.

Ah that's very kind of you to say so Robert. A second chance...I would like that but I doubt I-I deserve one. [ He simply sounds tired now; not upset or even mournful but just...tired.

He blinks as Robert grabs his bloodied hand and he looks at back at him with a smile. It doesn't fade like the previous ones however. ] If only it were in better circumstance. The Malnosso make everything so much more difficult it seems. But I do enjoy your company and I would like to continue to keep it.

I think you do. [Robert tries to make his tone full of conviction, though his voice is a little forced - rejection is still eating at him, after all, even if Helios seems to have a legitimate reason to do so.] Perhaps you've come to a different conclusion, but I... truly cannot see why.

Nobody deserves to be alone. Especially not a person like yourself.

[The tiredness in Helios' voice is bringing out Robert's paternal, protective instincts. He smiles weakly, trying to reassure him a little.] The Malnosso torture us. But I... ... c-can't deny that these feelings are real. Unless, unless the Malnosso just gave them to me as well. Perhaps they did... but I would l-like to think there's enough e-empirical evidence to ascertain their existence... [Robert curls his fingers in Helios' slowly. How does one show that one cares deeply for someone properly, anyway?]

... but, you sound utterly exhausted, Helios. [Robert appraises Helios' body again; though the washing and sterilizing appears to have stopped his bleeding, there are still numerous bruises peppering his skin and Robert can still see blood soaking through patches of his sweater.] I'd... be more than willing to assist you further if at all possible. It... isn't any trouble for me.

I suppose you might be right about that. I...I'm not really sure anymore. [ Robert can't see why because he doesn't know the whole truth. Possibly one day though Helios might tell him. ]

They do it without respite without any care of the consequences. I just don't understand why. How is any of this going to help us or even make us want to fight their war? [ Another tired and frustrated sigh. ] If only there was a way to speak with them equally. [ Helios' hand and arm might twitch at Robert's movements and he might slightly pull back a little. ]

Ah--no! No that's not necessary. I'm much better. I...I should be able to take care of things from here. [ Is he being too obvious that he's uncomfortable? Helios will smile though rubbing the back of his head with his left hand. ] I've already caused you enough trouble. And I should probably get back.

[Maybe one day they'll both trust each other enough to share these kinds of dark parts of themselves. ~~As it is, they both have enough buried traumas to last awhile.~~]

At this point it hardly seems to me that the Malnosso particularly care about how we feel about much of anything. The one Malnossian scientist I spoke to offered me absolutely nothing constructive. [Robert snorts to himself.] Perhaps I would fare better speaking to the one called "John".

[As Helios tugs away, Robert glances up at him anxiously.] You... haven't caused me any trouble at all, Helios. I simply wish to help you... Call it repayment for being so kind to me, perhaps. [Because Robert can't show his feelings in any other way, right now.]

At the least I could help escort you back to your apartment... and perhaps make tea for you if Mr. Chopin hasn't already. [Not that Robert isn't jealous of that closeness or anything. Nope.]

[ Perhaps that will be the case one of these days. ]

Very true. Though if they allowed us to possibly help them we might all find a way back home more quickly.

[ Helios might chuckle almost sounding like his old self. ] I made you run out in the snow and help me when I was bleeding. It's a very big trouble to you. [ He lets out a deep sigh. ] But thank you for helping me. I-I really appreciate everything. [ He'll smile looking at the floor his head will perk up at the mention of tea. ]

Ah...tea would be wonderful! I could definately use some.

That was exactly what I was thinking. Were we to pool our mental resources, I am certain that all of us could sooner return to our own homes.

[And more shyly:] N-Not that I wouldn't like to go along with you to your universe. Or vice-versa.

... Helios. You were in obvious need of assistance. The only ethical thing to do is to help you. And... and I am your friend. ["And I'm possibly in love with you."] I... would think that friends would do such things.

And I thought as much. [Robert smiles, tenderly.] Perhaps a warm bath as well, to soothe the damaged regions...? [~~Robert would be quite happy to assist with that too...~~]

But it doesn't seem like that will be an option anytime soon.

[ Helios will smile softly. ] I wouldn't mind the prospect of visiting yours either actually. Even if I am a bit behind on technology. But learning is apart of the experience when it comes to going to differing planets and even dabbling in different cultures. [ Helios will start to get from his seated position. He's a bit wobbly at first but he gets his bearings quick enough. ]

Ah...yes you're right. You're absolutely right. [ He'd certainly do it for the other. ]

[ Helios' smile widens at that. ] A bath, hm? I'm not opposed to the idea now that you mention it. [ He looks at his hands and clothes almost sheepishly. ] I could certainly use one.

That is quite true. Likewise, I suppose your world would be a very... fascinating one for me to experience. To say the least.

[And Robert reflexively shifts so that Helios can kind of lean on him again. Even if his adrenaline-powered strength is gone by now, he still wants to help Helios out if he can.]

And I'd be glad to assist, if you needed it. [Robert blushes just slightly, his own expression a little sheepish as well. It's probably obvious what undertones that has, hence Robert's mild embarrassment.] Er, especially with your right side being as weak as it is right now...

Oh yes fascinating is one way of putting it. Shocking too I'd imagine and not just because of the magic.

[ Helios might actually willingly do that now because his right side is still in poor shape, albeit not as bad as before, it's still giving him trouble and he'll never get back to the apartment at this rate. ]

Ah-Assist? [ Helios stammers looking taken aback. Did Robert mean what Helios thinks he means? Embarrassed, him? Never. Though that's a nice light shade of red on his face. ] N-No that-that's alright!

[Now that's a curious statement.] Oh? How so, exactly? One could hardly shock me much more than by showing me a world with magic and souls.

[It's that bad-shape-ness that led Robert to suggest the whole "assisting Helios bathe" thing in the first place. Which is why Robert looks a little surprised at the reaction he gets.]

Well, what with the fact you're having trouble merely standing, bathing is certainly going to be a problem. And I assure you I don't mean anything... untoward. [Even if he's attracted to Helios, Robert's lack of a nudity taboo means that he isn't mentally equating said state with sexuality. Though the flush on Helios' face is certainly telling.]

... I, er, apologize if that was the impression you got. [Robert glances away a moment. It's not like he doesn't like that idea, but that wasn't actually what he had been thinking of - especially not in a serious situation like this.]

Hm how much do you know about mythological creatures?

[ Helios will wave him off with his left hand. ] O-Oh! Er. Yes...we-well I...I would be naked and it just seemed with everything that happened before this plus everything you said and-- [ He will stop muttering to himself a little shade of color still on his cheeks. ]

It-It's fine. But I can manage on my own, really!

[That takes Robert slightly by surprise.] ... Mythological creatures? Do you mean cryptids, perhaps? Or something else? Cryptozoologists are... well, understandably disdained. It's been beyond established that they don't exist, after all. [Unless...] ... But I suppose things might be different in your world?

[Cue Robert giving Helios a sort of blank look for a moment.] And what would your nudity have to do with anything? I'd hardly expect you to bathe with clothing on; that would be unnecessarily complicating the matter. [But Helios being all blushy and stammery about it is odd.]

... Are.... are you equating nudity and sexuality? [And Robert gives Helios a look like that's a fairly strange thing to do.]

Yes those! And other such things like gods, demons, angels all sorts. They all very much exist in my world.

Ah! W-well it's just that... [ Scars mostly his scars but also...other things.

Helios will just...shift onto his left side. ] Um, yes. You-You don't? [ And Helios will give Robert an equal look as if him finding this strange is...strange. ]

[Robert blinks at this.] ... Well. ... I see. And you... wouldn't happen to have any proof of this, right? [Because Helios had proof of magic and Robert is having trouble conceptualizing this without proof.]

... I don't see why anybody would. They're hardly the same thing - in fact, they rarely even correlate. [Robert sort of adjusts his glasses at this.] Besides, it's not as if there is anything wrong with bodies. Simply organs and all. [Robert is quite serious when he says this. It's not like he's oblivious to Helios being attractive - on the contrary, he finds the man very much so - but more that he simply doesn't get why Helios being naked would necessarily make him more or less sexually attractive.]

Proof? Ah...well no not really. You'd definately have to be there to see them for yourself! Or if one showed up here but dear I'd never want one of my students to come here. [ Just the thought makes him frown some. ]

Well-Well most people are usually only seen naked when in the general vicinity of their partners or...during sex. Or something sexual. I guess the general populace has taken to correlating nudity with it. [ Helios is looking at the floor when he says that. ] It-it seems your world has a differing view on the matter.

I see... [Somewhat disappointing. Almost annoying to Robert, actually... though he knows Helios was serious about magic, it's harder to take this concept seriously without proof. Still...] Perhaps one day I may be able to visit your planet and see them directly.

[Robert listens to Helios' explanation with interest, though he also seems confused by the concept.] I see... well, it's not as if Terrans do not wear clothing, but it's generally only to maintain professionalism and to safeguard against damage from the elements. Nudity being an inherently sexual thing... hrm. [Such a strange world that Helios has...]

... I can see why you would react that way to the prospect I suggested, then, if that is how your view is; though I thought nothing of the sort, I assure you. Not as if you... aren't attractive, of course. But... certainly not in this situation; you are injured and require assistance, and assistance is what I meant to provide. [Robert offers a small, kind of awkward smile.] However... if you have objections, I certainly won't force you - just that I fear that it will be difficult to properly clean yourself in your condition, and I would hardly wish for these injuries to become infected.

That would be something! You'd definately find them interesting at least.

[ Helios might nod smiling just a small bit. ]

That's...kind of you Robert. And-and I appreciate that. But I'm fine really! You cleaning out my wounds is far more than I could ask for. [ No but really he just doesn't want to show anyone his arms. ] I'll certainly be able to manage on my own!

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