folklorist | ϡ - chapter thirteen; rememberance [action|written]

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ϡ - chapter thirteen; rememberance [action|written]

[ Around mid-afternoon Helios will be making his way across town with a small bundle of flowers in his hands. It might seem a bit odd, random even, but today is a rather...hard day for him; regardless he does have a small smile on his face as he makes his way through town. There's soft hum coming from his lips, absentmindedly and almost indistinguishably if you're not close enough. It's a soft melody and peaceful, or as peaceful as he can manage it to be. He has his journal with him just in case anything goes wrong.

He pauses momentarily at the edge of town, looking back almost as if he's thinking of making a post but...he decides against it for now. And then he turns and heads off into the forest.

He'll return later with one lone flower still in between his fingers and some dirt on both pant legs and his hands. He takes a seat by the fountain in the town square idly looking at his journal and of course the flower he is twirling unmindful with his pointer finger and thumb of his left hand. ]

If you could go back and change one event in your life, would you? Or would leave it as a reminder or perhaps a lesson learned? History is known for teaching us our past mistakes and also to be used in helping us in the future as well. History repeats itself as the saying goes.

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[Frederic begins to ponder who exactly Elise is, but then he slowly comes to a conclusion.] Elise is someone very special to you, isn't she?

[ He'll only nod slowly looking down at that ground for a few seconds before replying his voice steady but still low. Another wistful sigh escapes his lips. ] Yes she is.

[His eyes follow Helios' movements and he simply sighs, this reminds him of all the times he'd be when people would try to get him to talk about Emilia.] So Elise is to you how Emilia is to me. I believe I understand now why it's so hard to talk about her, because she is so important to you and then you... [He won't continue that sentence, he doesn't want to upset his friend.]

Emilia you've mentioned her quite a bit before. [ He shoulder's hunch and then two fingers go to the bridge of his nose he proceeds to rub both eyes another sigh escaping him. ] And then--

I was so incredible foolish and selfish back then. She wouldn't want me to say that but it's true all of it is true.

Emilia was my sister and I lost her to an illness. If that is how you lost Elise, I can understand you very well.

[He pauses and seems rather sad.] All I want to be able to understand what you're going through and to help comfort you in any way I can.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Frederic. It wasn't caused by that. If over eagerness and ignorance were illnesses then you would be right. But they're not, they're just faults! Faults that I--[ he takes a deep breath. ]...faults in me that I could have fixed.

[He frowns and grips a fist, he can tell a little bit of what Helios means. With a deep sigh, he answers his friend.] We're simply human, we can't help our faults. Even I have faults I want to be rid of because of how disgusted of them I am.

Yes...you're right. I just...I wish I could have changed them beforehand. [ He lets out a humorless chuckle looking at his hands and the ground. ] I feel so disgusting and horrible, Frederic.

[Slowly standing up, Frederic turns back around and takes Helios' hands into his.] You can still change, Helios. I'm sure Elise wouldn't want you to feel this way, she'd tell you the very same thing. She wouldn't want you to give up so easily or think of yourself as the way you are now. [A pause, then a soft smile.] I've come to learn this lesson when I think of my sister Emilia.

Edited 2010-09-13 04:12 (UTC)

No you're absolutely right. She wouldn't want to see me like this. Even if it was... [ my fault. He won't say it though because he can't. He'll shake his head closing his eyes as to fight off that burning sensation within them. ] Others have told me the same thing. I just--miss her so much sometimes, even though it's been three years.

I miss my sister after all of these years as well, it's hard to get over those whom we love that have passed on to the next life. But we must also understand that they would not want us to be sad for them, but to be happy and continue on.

[ He nods looking back at the other. ] And we can't ever forget them or all the times we shared with them, good, bad or indifferent. It would be a disservice to their memories to let ourselves simply forget.

[He tries smiling for Helios as best as possible.] That's more or less correct. I'm so glad we had this talk, Helios. I truly feel as if I've gotten to see a side of you that I can connect to.

[ His eyes widen just a little. ] I'm--grateful for your listening, Frederic. It's a bit hard talking about this because I don't know how people will see me if I told them what happened.

I do not look at you differently from our discussion, Helios. I understand exactly how you feel and what you've said won't change my feelings.

It...won't? [ He looks somber because he didn't out right say the truth. ] If I told you the whole truth you might think otherwise. It's silly for me to worry about such a thing...but some people aren't as open-minded as others. [ Helios shakes his head eyes closing. ]

Mm but you and everyone here aren't like people in my world I suppose.

Helios, you are my friend and I could never judge you. Even if you wish to tell me the whole truth, I will still think of you as my friend. I could never detest you because of your past, as everyone has a past that some parts we'd wish to forget.

[ He wrings his hands together looking back at Frederic with apprehension. His voice barely above a whisper and as if he's ashamed to even look at the other he diverts his eyes to ground. ] It's me, Frederic. It's all my fault...everything that happened to her. Her death was my fault, I was--I was so stupid not to listen to her, she told not to do it anymore and I just-- [ he doesn't say another word because he can't because it hurts even to say that much. ] I'm a murderer.

[Letting Helios' words sink in, Frederic goes quiet for a few minutes. His friend was indeed like him after all, but in a way he sort of wished he wasn't. However, being the friend he is, he attempts to smile and sound positive.] You and I are both alike in that sense. You remember what I told you about my friends, don't you? I have no right to call you a murderer as I am one myself.

[ He just frowns still looking at the ground. He doesn't know what to say because he's still a bit shaken at having divulged that information; he stays silent before sighing. ]

[His only wish right now is to help his friend even if he hasn't the faintest idea how to go about doing it. He reaches for Helios' shoulder, but once again stops having almost forgotten his friend doesn't like when others touch him.]

[ His shoulders will hunch forward a bit but there is a smile on his face. ] Thank you, Frederic. It's--not easy for me to tell people that. Many people back home have cut ties with me because of this, but you understand and, while it's not the best of ways for us to understand each other, I'm somewhat grateful for it.

[He lightly touches Helios' shoulder with only his fingertips, making sure not to press too hard or make him too uncomfortable.] I would never cut my ties with you, Helios. And I know you've been an admirer of mine for some time now... So I want apologize for not being the great musician you've read about in your history texts.

[ For once he actually doesn't flinch or move away, but merely looks back at the other. ] No you don't have to apologize for anything, Frederic. I still will admire you despite what you've told me. Even more so now actually.

[Keeping his fingers on Helios' shoulder, he smiles softly at his friend.] You admire me even more now? I'm...rather touched by those words. Thank you for saying such a thing, Helios.

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