folklorist | ϡ - chapter thirteen; rememberance [action|written]

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ϡ - chapter thirteen; rememberance [action|written]

[ Around mid-afternoon Helios will be making his way across town with a small bundle of flowers in his hands. It might seem a bit odd, random even, but today is a rather...hard day for him; regardless he does have a small smile on his face as he makes his way through town. There's soft hum coming from his lips, absentmindedly and almost indistinguishably if you're not close enough. It's a soft melody and peaceful, or as peaceful as he can manage it to be. He has his journal with him just in case anything goes wrong.

He pauses momentarily at the edge of town, looking back almost as if he's thinking of making a post but...he decides against it for now. And then he turns and heads off into the forest.

He'll return later with one lone flower still in between his fingers and some dirt on both pant legs and his hands. He takes a seat by the fountain in the town square idly looking at his journal and of course the flower he is twirling unmindful with his pointer finger and thumb of his left hand. ]

If you could go back and change one event in your life, would you? Or would leave it as a reminder or perhaps a lesson learned? History is known for teaching us our past mistakes and also to be used in helping us in the future as well. History repeats itself as the saying goes.

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You did say you were a teacher. Over thinking is probably a part of your job. Especially from what you've told me about the school you ran.

But there is a point where over thinking can become...harmful. To everyone. [Especially considering Helios' current frame of mind]

Among other things. [ He laughs at that because thinking is just the tip of the iceberg. ]

Ah--mm yes you've certainly got a point. I suppose I should have kept such questions to myself. I'd feel just dreadful thinking it could cause harm to anyone here.

Questioning is fine. Wishing is fine. But if it takes you to the point where you're willing to endanger people because you refuse to see the what's really going on, then...

[And at that point, Giles shuts up. Because he realizes that he's overidentifying way too much with Helios right now]

[ Helios gives Giles a sympathetic look, shaking his head a little. ] Giles you... [ He doesn't ask because it might be something the other doesn't want to reveal to someone he's only just met. He knows how that is and respects it. ]

Endanger people...no I wouldn't, but you are right. Taking it to such a level, she wouldn't have wanted me to do something like that. I--couldn't imagine doing something like that. [ He stops and merely sighs. ]

[Giles lets the silence go on for a few seconds, looking around the square, at the people, anywhere but at Helios. Then, he tentatively tries to change the subject]

Do you go out into the woods all that often?

[ He nods along that silence to linger a bit longer. He almost forgot the state of being for his clothing with all this talk. ]

Oh, usually I only go out to connect with the spirits here. It's about the only place you can find them most of the time.

Yes, I've been attempting to contact them, actually. Well, it's just Nala, at the moment. But I intend to meet all of them eventually.

Ah they do take some time to get used to your presence but the time pays off, especially Nala. Having a magical affinity for their elements always helps too.

So I keep hearing. Some will be more amenable to teaching, others might refuse to teach a particular person at all. You know, I don't actually know if I would have a particular affinity for any element. The sort of magic I typically resort to doesn't often involve them.

Oh? [ He tilts his head, curiosity evident in his expression. ] And what sort of magic do you use?

Rituals, mostly. Things that take more time to cast than most magic. I used to know some summoning magic, but I'm out of practice. [And he prefers it that way]

Ah so you're a summoner as well. There's a few of us here actually. Though summoning doesn't exactly work too well here. Summoning here adversely effects our own worlds.

Was a summoner. Important distinction. The part where I'm out of practice? That wasn't actually a complaint. But I do appreciate the warning, in any case.

[ He laughs. ] Of course. [ He pauses looking back at Giles inquiringly. ] May I ask why?

[Giles hesitates for a second before replying]

Something went...very wrong, once. Twice, actually.

I didn't know what I was doing.

It seems like we're in the same boat then. Only it took only once...only once and I would never make the same mistake again. [ He pauses, hesitant at first but still he continues. ]

Unfortunately the mistake made and the consequences were great enough. I was just too stubborn and ignorant to listen at the time, and never considered what could go horribly wrong.

[Giles nods - Helios is preaching to the choir]

And then even if you think you've fixed things, sometimes it all just comes back to haunt you. You can't ever risk it again.

I can never fix what I've done. But it's still there haunting me forever for what I did. Yet I still do it though, summon I mean. But only because it was our dream.

To give that up would be like forgetting her and I can't--I can't do that.

Then you're a braver man than I, Helios.

The thought of going through something like Eyghon all over again terrifies me. [Unconsciously, he rubs his left hand over his right forearm] I've never really trusted magic, since. Which is unfortunate, considering that I now have to teach it.

I don't know about brave, I ran when it happened. I just left her there and even after all of that I didn't want to deal with the consequences.

[ He'll listen to Giles sighing as he looks up towards the sky. ] Sometimes I do wish to get away from it, just for awhile.

[Giles joins Helios in staring up at the sky - it's easier than trying to look at him, right now, and the vast expanse up above helps him push the memories to the back of his mind, where they belong]

Sorry. I've probably just made your day quite a bit worse. I didn't mean that.

Oh heaven's no Giles don't apologize. I should be the one doing that. Since I was the one who asked the question in the first place and set this dreadful mood. [ He'll laugh sheepishly waving the other man off like it's no big deal. ] But--ah, thank you. I do appreciate everything it's nice talking about it once in awhile even if it is a bit painful.

Happy to help.

It is nice to talk about it, every once in a while. [But the fact that he just shared this much with Helios has unsettled him a bit] Talking...helps. Better than the alternative.

It certainly is. Keeping things like this inside-- [ he pauses remembering something. Frankly he's surprised he shared as much as he did with Giles as well. It's not everyday he talks about this subject. ] --it's never healthy.

[Giles gets to his feet and tries very, very hard to change the subject]

Well, you got me out of my apartment. I'm still trying to learn enough from Nala that I can help Willow, and I haven't been out at all today.

ϡ - chapter thirteen; rememberance [action|written]

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