No it's not your fault. How could you have known that this would happen? It's-it's always hard finding out someone you were close with has gone home. I-I know, it's happened to me before when, when Giles left. [ It did hurt and yet it was worth the pain. Except learning that when he had gone back home and had died that...that hurt too. ]

It is. It's worth every single blow because you have fond memories of her, memories that you can carry with you to make you stronger.