I think we all tend to do that at one point or another. [ He might still be watching you carefully. ]

I sometimes wonder why I'm even alive at all. [ It was his fault, that night, it should have been him that died really. ]

As for what you are...I don't honestly know. But what I do know is that you're Frederic, always will be to me at least, regardless of whether you're a dream, spirit, or soul in human form. But perhaps we could try to work it out together if you'd like? I know there's bound to be some books in the library with some helpful information.