folklorist | ϡ - Chapter TwentyTwo; Sweet dreams are not made of these [action/voice]

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ϡ - Chapter TwentyTwo; Sweet dreams are not made of these [action/voice]

[ It begins with deep breathing as if someone is injured or being held down against their will. There is no light, there is no sound, only darkness and nothing more. There's a man who looks exactly like him, a mirror image, cutting and kicking a foot into his skin and side. He's bound to a chair eyes shutting from the unfamiliar presence of the sudden light.

"You're a fool. You should have joined me when you had the chance. Anyone would have if they were in your position. I thought being one in the same would have aided in your decision."

"We-we're not the same, nothing at all!" The other man's voice...his voice, is shaky uncertain afraid. "You treat them like they're nothing, just...just stock for you to use. They're more than just that."

"Are they? I couldn't hear over your half assed reply. Do you think they deserve anything after what they've done to you? After what you've sacrificed for them to gain something? You seem to want to give them a chance, and what do they deserve? What have they ever done for you? Ha! Oh, yes, I forgot they're like a poor representation of a marginally less broken family, correct? You've had your chance to tame them and you failed."

The bound version of himself looks away jaw clenching an audible shaky sigh escaping before he replies. "Be quiet! They-that's not true. I never wanted to do that in the first pl-place."

"With magic comes power, and with power comes control. You're pathetic, no wonder you lost everything." The meaner, darker version of Helios replies. He is nothing like the other a completely different man in all aspects of the word. He is not

"Stop it! You-you have no right to speak about her like that." A scream tears through the bound man's throat. And the man with the same face has a wicked almost sinister grin on it.

"Murderer." They were the same but they weren't they had the same name, the same face and powers, but they were not. It begins with darkness and it ends in darkness as the dream fades. ]

Like a doppelganger. No, it's not real. None of it's re-real.

[ You might hear a strangled almost hysteric mantra coming over the journal's Luceti. The dreams have been proving to be a formidable foe to Luceti Valley's headmaster. The constant reliving of a life that you were certain wasn't yours. And that...inner turmoil was now just rekindled. He didn't want to think about it...that other half that was brought out by the Third Party being so in control in his dream. A life that, had you truly lived out, you wouldn't know how you'd be able to go on like that. It was wrong, familiar, and yet wrong because he couldn't even see his family in any of them.

Careful not to awake anyone Helios will slip out of CH7 and begin his walk, where to? He doesn't know but he's definately not sleeping anymore tonight. He'll be taking a walk well into the morning before happening upon one of the beasties. They track him more closely because of his past meeting with Rem. He doesn't know that and he hates being put into this position. It's too familiar, too real. The journal eerily silent will now capture the growling of a beast and a humanistic sharp intake of breath. ]

What...what are they. Go...go away.

[ His voice gets a little sharper, more different than how it is usually. But the creature does not leave and every step forward it takes Helios backs away before he finds himself backed up against a tree. Cornered. ]

I said leave me alone.

[ The voice transmission will cut off abruptly as the beginnings of a scuffle is heard. And then there is the crackling sounds of electricity accompanied by agitated growls before a yelp and a loud bang breaks the unending silence. Should anyone be in the woods between CH4 and CH7 there is now a dead beast in the forest a little way inward. Helios on the other hand will have left and be found around the village and general area. ]

(( ooc: AU Helios has something along the lines of MPD thanks to Giles and his imprisonment by the Third party way back when. Basically it's an excuse to portray his Mirror!verse side only slightly more realistic. So if you don't want to meet his suppressed, meaner, side I suggest you steer clear. Also the thread with Giles is going to be the main thread where Helios is brought down. Anyone else is free to reply and interact with him though! Characters might get injured if you catch him at the moment unexpectedly. But in general he'll just be snippy and not so nice. ))

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[ Oh Robert how amusing you are. Actually forging concern for him, like any of it is real. ] Why do you care?

[ It's a biting remark laced with poison and pent up anger that he can finally let seep out. And oh how he is going to let it seep out. Helios will actually make a bee line straight towards Robert. ]

[Robert shudders slightly at that tone, though he doesn't quite back off yet; instead, he just half-turns to make sure he can keep his gaze on the advancing man.

He's afraid of Helios, a little bit. That anger... written all over his face and dripping from that one short sentence to the point where even Robert can pick it up.]

I-I... I'm always concerned about you, H-Helios. You're... you're my friend... [Normally, anyway. Don't you remember, before February...?]

... You kn-know I'd always help you if you n-needed it... [Robert realizes he has nowhere to really run, now, from Helios...]

Oh I'm sure you are. Concerned only because of what I mean to my brother correct? [ Just a wry smirk. Oh he remembers before February but that's long gone. It's since February that Helios has been dealing with because nothing has been the same. ]

And how would you help me, Robert, do tell. I'm so very curious.

It's not like that at a-all, Helios. I appreciate you e-entirely on your own merits. [Despite the slight stammer, Robert's expression hardens slightly, and his lips draw into a thin line.] Y-You... You're usually such a kind person...

However I could, Helios. Whatever would h-help you. But you usually don't tell me, you won't be open with me... [Memories of the other-Luceti Valley Helios in his dreams, always gentle, but still hidden, still an enigma...

Why can he remember kissing Helios so well?]

Usually. People have the capacity to change faster than you think sometimes.

[ Another step forward, Robert might find himself pinned between Helios and a tree now. ] You want me to be open with you, Robert? You want to know that I have been thinking about--about that.

[ There's almost a conflicted look on his features as a hand goes to his temple in a slightly pained way. It's almost like he's internally fighting with himself but it goes just as quickly as it comes. He remembers it too and it's a damn nagging feeling, always there never leaving him alone. ]

[Robert makes a small stifled sound of fear as he feels his thin back press against the tree trunk. He's pinned, trapped like a caged animal, and there's this man in front of him, this man with the hate in his eyes that Robert can see but can't comprehend...]

All... A-All you ever needed to do was tell me how you felt and then m-maybe I could have actually done something about it...

[His heartbeat is hammering in his chest, and tendrils of panic clutch at him. He's close enough to smell that scent of electricity still wafting about Helios' hands.

... He's thinking about that, yes, and it sends a spike of guilt and shame and almost-want-but-not-quite through the pit of his stomach.

Robert pulls himself closer to the tree, instinctively trying to get away even knowing he can't at this point. Some voice inside screams for him to fight back and something else screams that he can't, that it's wrong and horrible and it'd be better to just stand here and die...]

It wasn't real. It wasn't supposed to be real. And yet... [ It's always there clinging to him like a damnable shadow. Ever since that shift on Valentine's Day. Helios' left arm will lash out and his open hand will slam into the trunk of the tree blocking that way of escape. His right hand will continue to rub his temple, eyes closing as a small sigh escapes his lips. ]

...and yet I can't stop but wonder sometimes. I won't be good enough, I never wanted to be. But I hate these deplorable thoughts and feelings I have when I see you. Even after so long why are they still there.

[ It's mostly anger and some pent up frustration about the whole ordeal. None of this is remotely helped by the fact that Robert turned to Giles afterward. ]

[At first, Robert is silent, save a squeak as Helios encloses him on one side. He subtly shifts, trying to break out and away without catching Helios' attention, but he knows it's probably futile.

Real feelings... He doesn't know what "real" means. All he knows is that something has always drawn him to Helios, despite that hate, and in the dreams he can remember feeling real feelings for Helios, for the gentle Helios that lives in his dreams at least - real feelings that he remembers being turned down, but real feelings nonetheless. Confused feelings now because he knows he shouldn't be feeling that way, not with Donatello being his lover already...]

... I-I don't know whether anything is r-real, anymore...

...

And, m-maybe... maybe they're... [... More real than either of us wanted to think. And yet the dream said they weren't real for Helios, and Robert isn't sure whether to trust reality or the dream more.

In the end, he just fearfully tries to pull away again, conscious of the oppressive closeness of Helios' body and the little part of his mind that whispers that maybe he deserves this for being a terrible friend...]

Maybe they're what? [ That question is snapped out; Helios' green eyes flickering as a small spark shoots from his right hand. Real? Like having feelings for someone that you know it could never work between and then realizing that those feelings aren't all related to the shifts. It was a jarring notion, enough to make him clench his jaw as he thought about, still looking at the man pinned against him and the tree. ]

I hate you and the way you look at Giles like that. It disgusts me. [ It makes him jealous and feel things he shouldn't technically feel. It was so confusing and making him angry. ]

[Softly:] M-Maybe... maybe they are real... Th-they were in my dreams, too... [He can't stop himself from whispering it, his heartbeat audible; that spark dancing across Helios' palm is terrifying because Robert knows just how much Helios could hurt him - or even kill him - if he wanted to...]

I... It... i-it isn't like that, H-Helios... Not with him... [Maybe there was hidden hunger there, but it feels less and less intense now as time passes and the dream merges with reality. It feels ersatz, not like these feelings for Helios that frighten Robert because they flicker in and out of reality, in and out of sanity.] H-He... He doesn't feel that way... [At least as far as Robert could ever tell. And though sometimes he can remember wanting to hold Giles, sometimes even wanting to kiss him, it's not quite the same thing here...]

I-I care about Rupert, yes, b-but... [I truly love Donatello...

That much was still clear, even now. Even in his dreams.]

Good. You don't deserve him anyway. [ It's rather blunt and to the point but that's the other side for you and Helios' gaze is just as annoyed as it was before. Another wave of pain shoots through Helios' head. It's more prominent as Helios will visibly wince from it. Stupid headaches drive him absolutely mad and these feelings of needing to embrace, no, kiss perhaps this man before him. It's partially the other one's fault. That stupid shift making him go weak for this...this pathetic man. He was so weak and yet there was a friction there contrary to what he felt. Goddamn shifts.

Some part of him knew that he shouldn't but that side was forcefully pushed out of his mind. His right hand will come up and he'll slowly trace along Robert's jaw line. ] I don't really like you. Those feelings weren't real no matter how much you or I want them to be.

[ He'll pause his fingers underneath Robert's chin. His green eyes flicker with anger. ] The other one might be able to control himself. But I can't...can't stand it.

[You aren't good enough for him. It's like a knife in his side, tearing, pouring salt in old wounds that the dreams were already reopening. Yes, it's true; he didn't deserve Benjamin, and he doesn't deserve Giles, he doesn't deserve Donatello, he doesn't deserve Helios, he doesn't deserve...

He's too pathetic, he can't do anything, doesn't even really know if he wants to do anything. He can only stand there and breathe raggedly as Helios' fingers slide across his jaw, making the skin tingle with the almost mocking gentleness of the touch.

He feels them stop against his carotid artery and trembles slightly, his bottom lip quivering slightly, his gray eyes searching Helios' stony face. "Control himself"...? Did that mean...?]

H-Helios...?

[Please don't, please...

He doesn't even know if part of him wants this or not. And the fact he isn't sure makes him even more ashamed.]

[ Helios will jerk Robert's chin up so he's now looking eye to eye with him. His expression doesn't change it doesn't even register Robert's blatant fear. ] You probably want this, don't you? Everything you do is so...annoying. Your pathetic fearful sniveling cowering. I don't understand how he could like you.

[ Helios' left hand will be gripping Robert's shoulder almost painfully so. ] And yet still...I.

[ Without much warning he'll indulge the other part of him, the part that secretly wanted this. With his left arm wrapping around the other's waist he'll drag Robert into a forceful kiss his right hand falling away and slowly he'll lift it up to his side. There's nothing behind the action this Helios isn't so welcoming to the idea of kissing this man but it quells some of the inner turmoil, makes it better and more serene. Weakness. That's all this person was. He had to destroy anything that would cause harm or weakness to himself. Robert has been nothing but distressing to the other more kind side. Not openly distressing, no, but it was still there. Therefore must be destroyed if only out of self preservation and fear alone; its enough to warrant this Helios' rage. Some part of him is at least satisfied while the other is simply outraged and ready to get rid of Robert once and for all. A small fireball glowing with intensity will flare to life in Helios' open right palm. ]

I'll get rid of you for both our sakes.

[Robert might as well be looking at a glacier for all the imposing harsh coldness he's staring at right now. He makes a quiet tremulous sound, shaking against the fierce grip on his shoulder and the hand on his head, preventing him from looking down and away from that accusatory glance. It's all true, he is pathetic and fearful and snivelling and cowering, that's all he's ever been; that's all he ever will be.]

...

I-I don't understand how he c-could like me, either...

[And then he falls silent as Helios pulls him into a harsh embrace and crushes those colder lips against his own. This is entirely different from the kiss he remembers giving Helios - both the one in the dream and the one before - and though a part of himself reacts, curls into the motion almost instinctively, lets Helios kiss him in this aggressive, dangerous way that terrifies Robert's mind and emerging Terran ethics... well, the rest watches with detached horror and the perverse sensation of knowing his body is slightly aroused by this.

Of course, this arousal dies the moment Helios pulls away and conjures the flame in his palm, and is replaced by an ice-cold spike of terror.]

H-Helios... please, you d-don't need to... I-I d-don't know what I did wrong, but...! [The kiss still burning on his mouth, Robert shudderingly pulls back. His combat training has been becoming increasingly difficult to access or allow, but he wills himself to at least consider the possibility of attacking Helios - most of him is screaming inside, though, and can't even fathom the possibility. In all honesty, he'd rather just stand here and die in his arms.]

Y-you don't have to do this... [Whispering:] I-I've never done you any h-harm... w-why...?

[ He lets his left arm drop from behind Robert. The next sentence is said almost in an accusatory hiss. ]

No harm you can see. Nuisance. I don't even care if I never come back after this. As long as I deal with you it'll be better. Everything will be better.

[ This side doesn't consider the immediate consequences it doesn't realize that by killing someone could ultimately ruin the other side of him. It just knows one thing and one thing only. He looks back and forth between the fireball and Robert with a smug expression. ] Have to do this.

[The tendency of the journals to turn themselves on in a crisis is usually annoying or problematic. Giles has never been more glad for this particular glitch in his life. After swallowing back bile at the conversation he's just come in on, he manages to speak over Helios' and Robert's journals.]

You'll never leave. Because you'll be all that's left.

And you'll be just as bad as the monsters who made you.

[Robert is suddenly inordinately glad that he has his journal with him all the time, because he realizes at the onset of Giles' voice that he's been broadcasting this surrepitiously the entire time.

His voice is desperate when he speaks.]

R-Rupert... oh gods, Helios... y-you don't need to kill me... I-I'll f-fix my mistakes for you, Helios... I-I never wanted to... m-make mistakes... [I've made enough mistakes...

He tries to put more distance between himself and Helios, enough to make an attempt to flee. He doesn't know where Giles is, doesn't know he has a tracking spell... He's convinced he's going to die at the hands of Helios.

Even now he doesn't want to fight him.]

Giles nice of you to drop...in. [ His voice sounds struggling because god his brother has a point. He never wanted to exist in the first and he finally realized what might happen should he get rid of this person before him. He hated the caustic way he was created and being called a monster hurts in a small but significant way. His teeth clench and his eyes flicker with a want, a want to kill and yet desire is taken down several notches almost completely gone. His right hand balls into a shaking fist, the fireball going out instantly and he'll just punch the tree trunk on the right side of Robert. Said rather harshly: ] Don't bother.

[ He just...turns away and begins to walk off. Not saying another word and perhaps he can even let out his anger on another one of those things. Robert was damn luck today but next time...next time he might not be so much. ]

Robert, for God's sake, get back to the village.

[And Giles can't say much more than that, because he's already almost lost sight of the tracking spell zipping through the trees.

But he lets himself breath out a sigh of relief.

It's certainly easier to reason with something you helped create.]

...I'll be there soon.

A-Alright... [Robert doesn't need much more prodding. He flees then, in fear, from the man stalking in quiet rage away from him.

As he runs he can swear he sees a small green light flickering between the trees, but he doesn't trust himself to stay behind and watch.

This is something only Giles can do. He isn't strong enough.

He's thankful that Helios will at least listen.]

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ϡ - Chapter TwentyTwo; Sweet dreams are not made of these [action/voice]

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