folklorist | ϡ - Chapter Forty; In memoriam nos durabimus

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ϡ - Chapter Forty; In memoriam nos durabimus

[ After the weeks Helios has had prior to being possessed by Apep he’s taken some time out to think, be alone, cope with what has happened. He’s kept himself pretty much isolated the entire week only going out when necessary. But after all the support and help he’s had to give, thanks to the Kin’coran’s, his initial idea of isolating himself wasn’t working. So, instead, he coped and is still coping as he tries his hardest to make it up to the people he’s hurt. He spent several hours thinking on how to make it up to people and how to possibly convey his gratitude but nothing ever seemed good enough to really add up to everything. But sweets…that could be a start couldn’t it? All this baking also helps keep his mind from wandering too much today. So today on the 10th every sort of baked good you could think of will be set outside in the town square by the fountain. Cupcakes, cookies and a few pies. Luminair is enjoying the sun and walking up to people to grab their attention by pulling on their pant legs or chirping at their heels for them to follow and take some nice tasty sweets. Helios will also have refreshments out as well they’re all ice cold despite the sun and heat. It’s only when he’s settled back into his seat that he’ll make a short little announcement over the journals. ]

I-I’d like to, um, welcome all the new f-feathers that just arrived. It’s a bit startling but, we try to make everyone feel as welcomed as possible. If you have any questions most people are more than willing to answer. There's also the W-Welcome Center that can help you get a-adjusted with things too.

[ A pause. ]

Um, I’d like to also say that-that there’s some freshly baked s-sweets for everyone to take. They're out-outside by the fountain, y-you can't miss it. If-if you want any delivered that c-can be arranged too. Ah and lastly, f-for anyone interested, there’s a book club held at the library every last Sunday of the month. I’d also like to ask if a-anyone would be, um, willing to help with a little project in regards to the club. It has to do with the battle dome, but I’m afraid I’m not very good at those sorts of things...

[ His voice is low and stuttering not much different than usual at least. But there’s something else there too. A tiredness and sadness that he can’t help have permeated through his tone. Today was…a hard day for Helios. Anniversary of Elise’s death and their engagement party, that on top of everything else that’s happened, well, it’s not really any surprise that Helios is a bit dour. So once most of the sweets have been taken or devoured Helios will head over to the flower shop to get a bundle of flowers. Next he’ll go to the Memory Garden and then lastly you can find him outside in the plaza until it gets dark. He’s not doing much besides sitting down and reading a rather old and worn looking book. It appeared in the library a few days ago and ever since then he’s kept it in his possession. It was the last gift Elise gave him as a surprise gift and then his engagement ring popped up just the other day. It’s been two years since he’s seen that ring and now he absently rolls it in his palm when he next speaks. ]

Do your worlds have a concept of soul mates? And if so d-do you believe in it? Love at first sight I mean. And being so perfectly matched to someone that your share a part of your soul with them? Have you ever thought you’ve found that person in passing on the street, or in a class at college?

[ A pause before he sighs and laughs a little. ]

I apologize. That’s a bit personal, isn’t it? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. M-Maybe something more open then. Imagine if you could…see the memories connected with a certain item or place. I wonder what you could, ah, gain from it if you could. History often teaches us rather a great deal after all. To be able to t-tap into the memories connects to things, like books, or jewelry and see their own history. It would…be interesting, wouldn’t it?

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[As he finishes, she arrives, and walks right on over and embraces you. Deal with it Wizard. Hugs help all the people!]

Elise is a beautiful name. What happened to her?

[ So was not expecting that hug Saori. And for the most part? Helios doesn't actually mind it today, of all days. He hunches ever so slightly before he pulls away and looks at her with a sad, distant look. ]

She w-was beautiful. [ Everything about her was. Helios bites his lip as he looks at the cookies and assorted sweets on the table. Luminair gives a sad little chirp from his position beside Helios' feet. ] She's...she's not here.

[ He can't quite force himself to say that she's dead. ]

[She doesn't let you go, though. She can feel that something is truly bothering him, and that makes her want to help him. Helios has suffered enough, and has that horrible darkness so firmly affixed to his soul. It...had to be related, but she won't pry too much. Instead, she just holds him]

Its alright. I understand, my friend.

[ He's silent for a few moments longer as he looks past the embrace and out towards something else. The Goddess skin feeling oddly warm compared to his own chilled. He takes a shaky breath and shakes his head. ] S-Sorry. I sh-shouldn't be ruining such a nice d-day with all of this.

[ Elise would have loved it though. She soaked up the sun and was more than beautiful when in it. ]

You are ruining nothing. Expressing grief is a perfectly acceptable thing.

[She squeezes him reassuringly]

I don't mind!

[ He hunches a bit more at the reassuring squeeze, not really showing much emotion with the action. But he does manage to give a smile, however empty it is. It was harder this time around, mainly because of Apep, but he had people who cared about him here so it took away some of that initial pain. ] I-I thought it would be easier...it's been so long.

[ He bites his lip. ] But it-it's not. I-I don't think it ever w-will be. Especially n-not after what she was replaced with. [ Apep is the unspoken name that Helios rather not say. ] T-Time is supposed to heal all wounds, isn't it?

Helios.

[The goddess reaches up and runs a hand across Helios' clammy cheek.]

Time does heal all wounds, but wounds of the soul, that takes a long, long time. It sounds like you've held this in for a long time. Never really accepting it. Thats something you've got to do for it to even begin.

[ He just barely flinches at that action. But it's a comforting motion and one he's related to Elise in a lot of ways. He look down at the floor a shaky sigh escaping past his lips. ] A-Accept it.

[ It's so hard to do that, even now, even after all the years that have gone by. But he knows Elise would want him to not suffer like this, to live happily with her in his memories. His hands clench and unclench against his sides. ] It-it was my fault t-to begin with.

[ And he accepts that too. ]

If he was involved, then no, it wasn't your fault.

[He'll know exactly who she means. She daintily runs one finger down his cheek, following a ki line before wrapping him up in a tight hug, her wide sleeves enveloping him, pressing his head into her chest as a mother would a child. Comforting others isn't the easiest thing, but she feels like she should.]

Elise would want you happy. And...since you are soulmates, you will meet again. Surely you know this.

B-But I knew...I-I knew what could happen. And I still went through with it. [ And it ended for the worse, naturally. Helios flinches a little when Saori moves her finger down his cheek. His body going slightly stiff as she pulls him further into that tight hug. It was a nice gesture and Helios appreciated it, he just wished he wasn't so...him. It made things like this especially hard at times. There's a small shaky sigh of breath. ]

I-I don't know if, if I'd want to. Sh-she probably would b-be better off without me. I-I know somewhere else...she's there with another me. [ It almost hurts to say. He was so close, so close, to taking her back with him. Taking her away from Amnesia and his other self. But he hadn't...because that was cruel and unfair, despite what the other him had tried to do. ] I know she w-would want me to be happy. But it-it's just, so hard.

[ And he's so tired of trying. He wonders sometimes why he tries. A world without her was hard enough, but then to have the Council, his brother, and others go against him. It almost seemed impossible sometimes. But that was life, wasn't it? Getting through hardships and keep on living, for her sake and his own. For their dream. ]

[Saori doesn't let up, relentlessly hugging the stiff, chilly mage. He's an idiot, a mortal fool with no grasp of what he's saying. She doesn't want to tell him that, of course. Suffering is hard, and all being suffer. But to wish away...happiness like that, that's nonsense.

She lets him finish speaking, and pulls him away. Holding him gently by the shoulder for a long moment, eyes locked, she raises a finger and flicks his ear, hard.]

Helios, you must not say such things. Elise loved you, and you were meant to be with her. In this life, or the next. Do NOT throw away the hope that reincarnation brings. That is the greatest blasphemy you could commit against her memory.

I can't force you to be happy, but its my duty as your friend to remind you that you should never throw away a chance to smile. I've seen your heart. Felt it. You've got a lot to live for, despite your sorrow.

[Yea, sure your fiance died and you have an evil god stuck in your stomach. First World Problems.]

[ Ow. Saori he wasn't expecting that. He gasps a little at the flick and frowns as he covers his ear with a hand, rubbing it a little. But he listens to her words and tries to keep his composure as he does so. He blinks more rapidly as he fights away the stinging sensation in his eyes. A lot to live for. Helios doesn't know about that, aside from the school and trying to help change things back home. That was enough to live for, and for Elise too, he would do anything for her, including living out and seeing her dream come to fruition. But he knows Saori's words are true and as a goddess he knows that she speaks the truth. He bites his lip and nods. ]

I-I do. [ He doesn't sound very sure. But he believes her despite his tone. He takes a shaky intake of breath. The school. His students. Ra and everyone here. And most importantly Elise's memory. A small and a more confident tone peeks through the overlying sadness. ] Of course I do.

[Saori can see the truth in his eyes, knowing that he does, honestly, understand her words. She nods assuredly, and releases him.]

I'm glad you understand. I would hate to have to do something drastic to get you to see that you should smile more often. You live, and you have loved. That is more than most humans ever know. Sometimes it takes a dozen lifetimes to find.

You're...absolutely right. I-I suppose maybe, one day, I'll meet her again. [ Though he tries to sound happy it still falls a little flat. ]

I-I just...miss her. But I suppose everyone misses s-someone in their live, don't they? [ He can't bring her back and it hurts him to even admit that, but he can keep her in his memories always. In a way that keeps her near to him just as much as being alive would. ]

Yes. Everyone misses someone. Even me. But we make the best, and do the best we can do.

[She offers Helios a weak smile]

And its hard. But, we make it. Everyone does, in their own way.

I don't think I would have made it this far without Varron and Ra and everyone here.

[ He looks down at the ring in his closed palm, the gold cool against his skin. ]

Tell me about Varron and Ra. And your...fascinating ring.

[She caught that glance, staring down at it]

Varron? He's...one of the only truly good friends I have back home. I-I met him in college. He's a normal human, he can't use magic at all, but he never once judged me for what I am. I-I think he also helped me for towards opening the academy. [ Along with Elise. His smile as he speaks about Varron is happy, bittersweet, but happy. ]

And Ra. [ Helios gives a breathless laugh as he shakes his head. ] Ra's a bit...insufferable, but he's a god, a dragon god. A-And he-he saved me. He saved me from Apep when he didn't have to.

Ra...is the god of the Sun, yes? I've heard that name in my world, the king of the Nile. In your world he is a dragon?

[She's interested of course]

And its good to hear that you have a friend like that. What was Varron like?

Oh. N-No, no. E-mun Ra was a...guardian for Ra in my world. I-I'm not sure if he exists in any other Earth to be honest. He didn't seem to be there...in the one other Earth I went to.

[ Helios shrugs and looks a bit distant as he begins to speak. ] He's...understand and very strict when-when he needed to be. He, um, was the one who-who gave me the courage to...speak with Elise f-for the first time. And he was one of the only people who cared when she was gone.

[ Helios' smile falters as he remembers that moment, the moment he almost took his own life because the grief and pain had been far too much. The loneliness and darkness almost overbearing. But Varron didn't give up on him and Helios is eternally grateful towards the other man for that. ]

Ahhh, so a trusted adviser as well as a dear friend. I take it Varron is not here, but lives in your home world?

[She gives him an encouraging smile]

He'll be waiting for you, when you return.

No he isn't. Though I-I'd imagine if he were he'd...be amazed by all the different worlds and people here. He was...very open minded when it came to that sort of thing.

[ Helios nods and lets out a breathy little laugh. ] Yes a-and my students as well.

Right, your students. You teach at a magic school right? What are your pupils like?

Ah I do, yes. [ Helios smiles a little more as he thinks about the school. It's better than thinking about other things at least. ] It-it depends on the species. A-Angels and Demons can be a bit...rough with one another. Nothing says a busy school like preventing an apocalypse. [ Or two, or three. ]

Altor one of my angelic students...he's a bit protective of people. The vampires are nice enough too, very civil depending on the family and their roots, werewolves as well. Then there's the phoenixes and their group. They're very artistic, free spirited and all that. They help keep up the morale within the place. My human students are, well, they're what you'd expect of teenagers at their age. Sometimes challenging authority a-and very open minded, willing to learn too. But in the end they're still young adults and needing guidance, especially with everything that happens in the academy at times. But at the end of the day we're all a bit like family, no matter what species or race.

You teach...angels, demons, and vampires? How in Heaven's name do you manage? I should think they'd wish to learn from their own kind?

[Pardon her confusion, Helios. THIS is interesting!]

ϡ - Chapter Forty; In memoriam nos durabimus

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