folklorist | ϡ - Chapter Forty; In memoriam nos durabimus

[ After the weeks Helios has had prior to being possessed by Apep he’s taken some time out to think, be alone, cope with what has happened. He’s kept himself pretty much isolated the entire week only going out when necessary. But after all the support and help he’s had to give, thanks to the Kin’coran’s, his initial idea of isolating himself wasn’t working. So, instead, he coped and is still coping as he tries his hardest to make it up to the people he’s hurt. He spent several hours thinking on how to make it up to people and how to possibly convey his gratitude but nothing ever seemed good enough to really add up to everything. But sweets…that could be a start couldn’t it? All this baking also helps keep his mind from wandering too much today. So today on the 10th every sort of baked good you could think of will be set outside in the town square by the fountain. Cupcakes, cookies and a few pies. Luminair is enjoying the sun and walking up to people to grab their attention by pulling on their pant legs or chirping at their heels for them to follow and take some nice tasty sweets. Helios will also have refreshments out as well they’re all ice cold despite the sun and heat. It’s only when he’s settled back into his seat that he’ll make a short little announcement over the journals. ]

I-I’d like to, um, welcome all the new f-feathers that just arrived. It’s a bit startling but, we try to make everyone feel as welcomed as possible. If you have any questions most people are more than willing to answer. There's also the W-Welcome Center that can help you get a-adjusted with things too.

[ A pause. ]

Um, I’d like to also say that-that there’s some freshly baked s-sweets for everyone to take. They're out-outside by the fountain, y-you can't miss it. If-if you want any delivered that c-can be arranged too. Ah and lastly, f-for anyone interested, there’s a book club held at the library every last Sunday of the month. I’d also like to ask if a-anyone would be, um, willing to help with a little project in regards to the club. It has to do with the battle dome, but I’m afraid I’m not very good at those sorts of things...

[ His voice is low and stuttering not much different than usual at least. But there’s something else there too. A tiredness and sadness that he can’t help have permeated through his tone. Today was…a hard day for Helios. Anniversary of Elise’s death and their engagement party, that on top of everything else that’s happened, well, it’s not really any surprise that Helios is a bit dour. So once most of the sweets have been taken or devoured Helios will head over to the flower shop to get a bundle of flowers. Next he’ll go to the Memory Garden and then lastly you can find him outside in the plaza until it gets dark. He’s not doing much besides sitting down and reading a rather old and worn looking book. It appeared in the library a few days ago and ever since then he’s kept it in his possession. It was the last gift Elise gave him as a surprise gift and then his engagement ring popped up just the other day. It’s been two years since he’s seen that ring and now he absently rolls it in his palm when he next speaks. ]

Do your worlds have a concept of soul mates? And if so d-do you believe in it? Love at first sight I mean. And being so perfectly matched to someone that your share a part of your soul with them? Have you ever thought you’ve found that person in passing on the street, or in a class at college?

[ A pause before he sighs and laughs a little. ]

I apologize. That’s a bit personal, isn’t it? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. M-Maybe something more open then. Imagine if you could…see the memories connected with a certain item or place. I wonder what you could, ah, gain from it if you could. History often teaches us rather a great deal after all. To be able to t-tap into the memories connects to things, like books, or jewelry and see their own history. It would…be interesting, wouldn’t it?

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It's one of the most basic and needed emotions anyone c-can have. It gives people m-many different things. Happiness, inspiration, a sense of protection and-and care. [ He sounds almost in pain, but he does try to keep it out of his voice as he speaks. It's only until the spirit speaks those words that he flinches a little on his end. ]

O-Oh, no, I-I'm alright. Just a bit...thoughtful today it seems. [ A pause. ] But you are right, about what they are. Two p-people so perfectly in tune with one another...that their souls are a perfect match.

Really? It is... needed? [Hm, that made him feel a little uncomfortable from the sound of his voice. Did that make him incomplete? Or should he be trying to get rid of these emotions completely in the first place?]

You speak as though you have experienced this yourself. I am sure it must be painful to be apart from someone you... match souls with.

Ah, well, I suppose it...depends on the world and the person in question. Many people g-get along just fine w-without it. [ Though he wouldn't really know, or perhaps he does and his own situation is just...worse than most. ] Lots of people in my world haven't f-found there's yet. Six billion people in the world, it's a lot of ground to cover. [ A small laugh. ] But, I think it depends on the person. There's...no harm in having it though.

[ A twinge of pain dots his voice. ] It-it does sound p-painful. B-But having friends a-and support makes it easier.

[ At times. Helios has learned that much from his time here. ]

Edited 2012-09-11 19:21 (UTC)

That is a lot of people. I wonder then if Spirits can ever learn to love. There are far fewer Spirits than humans in my world...

I am glad you have that support then. You do not seem like a bad person from what I have seen of you so far.

Spirits, hm. I-I think that they could in their own ways. You're a spirit then...that's fascinating. [ Helios ponders before his voice takes on a more dour note. ]

Th-thank you f-for thinking so. Back home that isn't usually wh-what people would say. [ And he often used to believe it. On this day more than anything else. ]

Ah... yes. I am a Wind Spirit. I am not sure I understand the concept of love well enough to experience it for myself... perhaps it would be better for me to stay away from it even if I did.

[The man's next words catch his attention though.] What would they usually say about you then?

It doesn't have to be love in the sense of, well, a relationship with someone. It c-could be with anything. An art form, a place, or even something as simple as w-well food. There's lots of different variations of love.

[ Helios pauses though at that question. His voice is dour and tinged with pain and sadness that it's almost palpable. ] N-Nothing very kind. I-I suppose I...put myself in that position though.

Ah, I have heard that love has many meanings. Perhaps that is why it is so difficult for me to grasp. But then what is different about the love between two people and the love for... food?

...I can hear your pain again. Is there something you did wrong?

The difference is...well, I suppose a love for food isn't as prominent or important as a love for a person you find attractive. There's...a different chemical involved in ones biology when-when dealing with food borne love. Something to that effect, at least.

[ A pause and he's silent for a few moments longer. ] There was. I was a f-fool back then. I-I tried to do something I knew was d-dangerous. [ And in the end he wound up killing the most important person in his life. ]

[Ah. They were of differing importance. So a love for something like food was not thought of as highly as that of love for a person. Yes, that made sense.] I see. How would I know if I found a person... attractive? [Yes he did just ask that.]

It seems to be a common human trait I find. There are those who put themselves at risk for themselves and for others. They do not always think their actions through... only when it is too late to change them. And then they feel regret and find themselves lost in the past.

Is this true for you as well?

Ah, well... [ oh dear this question. Helios' face heat up just a bit. ] Well it's a few things, really. There's looks, of course, but more importantly their personality has to be appealing to you as well. It...also makes a difference on how they make you feel. There's people who are like family to you a-and then there's people who you want to share your life with.

[ Like a soul mate or someone who has taken your breath away the moment you set eyes on them. Helios' thoughts are abruptly stilled at those words. They hurt, on a very deep and base level. The wind spirit had a very good point and hit the nail on the head. ]

S-Something like that, yes.

How you feel... [He repeats, mulling over the man's words. He can understand something being appealing to look at. He can also understand the difference between an appealing personality and an unappealing one. Feelings though were what really confused him. Since he was never meant to feel anything in the first place, he was never quite sure how he should react to them...] Could you explain some of these feelings to me? How would you feel towards family compared to someone you would like to spend your life with?

[Oh dear... has he gone too far again?

...I am sorry if I have troubled you.

[ Helios pauses at the question. Family. It was a strange thing to realize that what he felt for his family was probably not the normal case for most people. No family was perfect, but with someone like Nero within your family...it made perceptions a bit skewed. He'll blink back tears pushing away the harder and darker parts and focusing more on something happier and warmer. Days when he wasn't cowering in the corner of a darkened room, waiting for the blows to occur or the knife to come slicing in. He doesn't think about those things, but others. Like Christmas or cooking with his mother. ] Feelings towards family. It's...complicated, but also a uniform sort of feeling. Family is...there when you need them to be. You share a sort of feeling and bond with your family that-that no other person alive could possibly make you feel. They're your blood and you are theirs. Family makes you feel...accepted, proud, unafraid of things that you might think impossible to overcome. They h-help keep you level and-and in someways they sometimes urge you on to do things you love.

[ A small sigh. It sounds a bit forlorn and pained as he continues. ] The person you want to spend your life with is something like that too. But...they know on a different level, a-a different understanding and relationship. And then they become a part of your new family. And from there you can teach, share, and try to make that feeling blossom anew with them.

And it's...quite alright. You haven't troubled me.

ϡ - Chapter Forty; In memoriam nos durabimus

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