folklorist | ϡ - Chapter ThirtyFour; The snowy white day and the curse [Action (for House 44)|Voice|Written]

[ There’s the rhythmic clink of a knife cutting through vegetables and on the cutting board. There’s a small humming coming from the person doing said cooking before they stop. ] Ah! G-Good afternoon everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves today. It looks like we have a bit of a snow storm going on, hm? Make sure to bundle up if you do go out.

[ There’s a hum and then another chop or two. ] Snow. Snow lots of it. Plenty to do with it though. Speaking of I have two ideas I thought might be nice to bring up. First one being a delivery service of sorts! It'll run out of house forty four and we can get you anything you might need during the winter...during times like this, for example. Because walking out in this kind of weather is just dreadful. H-having teleportation magic makes it loads easier a-and I think it'll help people out just a little more. I-I suppose requesting things over the journals would be the fastest way to get it to you. I haven't quite worked out all the details for it yet. But having it as a service available for the winter months might be beneficial all around. [ He'll clear his throat before continuing. ]

The next is a bit more fun and less serious. I thought up the idea back in December, if you saw my snow sculptures walking around that one day. How does a nice, light, fun snow sculpture competition sound to everyone? You can make teams based on the community buildings, houses, or simply join up with your friends! I-I think…it might be nice to do. It’ll help with the recent going ons around here. [ Lots of people leaving some good old fashion fun wouldn’t hurt. ]

As for prizes…well I’m not quite certain what one could ask for when you can get whatever you want. It’s a rather tricky thing to come up with prizes here, but not impossible. Ah! But…there is the hot springs. Perhaps the winning team can take a few hours or a day to have the hot springs to themselves. Maybe having the food of their choice cooked for them while up there? [ Just going to be chopping some more yup. ]

I don’t know when to have it either, actually. Maybe right after Valentine’s Day? [Oh boy Valentine's Day. That is coming up rather soon, isn't it? ] Depending on the amount of snow we get. I-I’m sure it’s not going to melt anytime soon. Could always make more too…

But, yes, if you have any feedback for it I’d love to hear! A little community fun can go a long way after all. I think Luceti could use- [there’s a long pause and then a muted cry of pain comes over the journal. It comes out as a pained gasp and the knife he was holding clatters to the floor but only after Helios cuts himself. Damn. He'll just quickly grab a nearby towel and press it against the wound. Helios turns off the voice function as soon as it happens so no one else can hear it. But, oh, damn he hopes no one is home right now. It’s back, this pain, oh gods it’s just like getting it the first time. He’ll just brace himself against the kitchen counter as he bites back those tears. The next part is said shakily. Helios manages to keep his voice level however. ]

S-sorry about that. But I think everyone could agree that Luceti could use some fun. I'll be around so-so if anyone has any questions feel free to ask. Th-there's also the ah... [ Give him a second he's trying to brain things while all this pain is hitting him at once. ] Th-the meeting tomorrow, too. I can answer things there as well, if-if people need t-time to think on it. S-Stay warm today everyone. Hot chocolate is a wonderfully good remedy for this sort of weather. [ Of all the times to get back his curse. It was bound to happen. He knows that. Nothing ever lasts forever. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Helios gives it a cursory glance and shakes his head. ]

N-No I'm, I'm alright. How are your arms? I-I could patch them up for you. So-so they won't bruise too badly.

[ Robert he is fine. He's more worried about you ironically. ]

My arms are... fine... [Robert hesitates a moment - Helios knows now, but... he doesn't know if he'd show them now, especially with how Helios must feel.]

... I want to make... certain you alright. You... sounded in pain...

[Though he can think of reasons why.]

A-Are you positive? I-I wouldn't...mind healing them for you. [ But if they are he won't press it. Not after what he was told a week or so ago. ]

I-I'm fine. I'll...be fine. [ That's a lie and Helios looks away as he goes to get two cups out of the cabinet. ]

[Robert drops his tone even lower, hopefully so only Helios will hear.]

... You can be... s-straightforward with me, Helios.

I... I want to know. P-Please...

[ And Helios...Helios will pause and bite his lip gently. ] I...I'm in pain. But it's-it's to be expected. I-I just wasn't expecting it to come back so soon. O-Or all at once. [ Just a small laugh. There's nothing really amused or happy within it. It sounds hollow and is entirely forced. ]

I'm not sure what I expected of them. Perhaps I just hoped they'd...take it away forever. But it wasn't fair to you. I...still apologize for everything you went through last week with all of this.

[Robert walks up alongside Helios, hesitating as he pauses at Helios' side. What exactly should he say?]

... I... I am sorry... I w-wish I could have kept it for you...

[He would have, right now, though it probably isn't fair for him.]

... You do not deserve to... b-be in pain...

[ Helios shakes his head looking at Robert. ]

You most certainly didn't deserve to bear my mistake, Robert. Even if I know you would gladly do so. I-I appreciate that, I do. But... [ He does deserve it. He'll look out the window. ] It's my own fault to carry. A-And I've made my peace with it, ever since Elise passed away.

[There's a beat of silence, before Robert shakes his head gently again.]

... Punishments are... s-supposed to have a finite limit. Even if it were... s-something you deserved such a punishment for in... in the first place - a-and I do not think it is - th-then... then it should not be for forever...

[Quietly:] If you b-blame yourself for something forever, you... you would be... ...

[...]

... J-Just like me, I suppose.

[ The teapot will begin its desperate whistling after Robert's words. Helios will take it off the stove the silence lingering in the air as he goes to prepare some tea. ] You don't think I should? Blame myself I mean?

[ He doesn't know what to do. He just...can't forgive himself that easily. Maybe he never will. ]

... No.

[He lets that hang for a second, before adding, hastily:]

... N-Not... not the way you do...

If... if there is o-one thing living here has taught me, it is th-that... that circumstance makes a significant d-difference. On Terra, violence is... violence. You are punished, regardless of... wh-what kind. There is no difference in... degree of h-harm.

... Here there is.

And... [- his voice wavers a moment -] ... y-you made a... m-mistake. A mistake that... th-that you could never have predicted... s-such an outcome for.

I... I may not know details, but... I know you, Helios. I know you would... n-never do something like that if you had known what would have t-transpired. If you had even suspected...

[He trails off. Maybe he's wrong.]

I wouldn't have. If I had suspected that to occur. Not if it meant endangering her like that. If I had-had know...I would have never... [ He pauses lips drawn tightly together. He would have never had harmed Elise. Not in a million years, not for anything. He would die before he could be made to lay a finger on her. ]

And yet I did it anyway. [ And the outcome is still the same. She's gone, forever, and if this is price to pay for it so be it. ]

But... but it was... a m-mistake born of ignorance... [And Robert wants to press that this isn't the same thing as if he had deliberately done it.]

...

Wh-what is... worse, from an e-ethical standpoint? An action t-taken deliberately, or... or an action that results from... an u-unfortunate confluence of events...?

[ Helios hunches. ]

I-I know, I know. It's not the same as if I had done it deliberately. But it d-doesn't change the fact that what happened...killed someone innocent.

[ He still feels himself to be a murderer even if he knows that he isn't. That what happened that night was in no way his own fault or doing. And yet the pain, the cries of Elise being possessed and killed right before him it was...it was too much to cast aside as a simple accident at least for him. ]

At some point, you n-need to... forgive yourself, Helios... you cannot hate yourself f-forever.

... Just... d-do all you can, to make sure such a thing... will not r-reoccur...

Just l-like I... try to do all I can to... d-do the same...

[And he fidgets a little with his sleeves, hands hesitating over the marks of the needles on his wrists. The marks Helios knows are there, now.

ϡ - Chapter ThirtyFour; The snowy white day and the curse [Action (for House 44)|Voice|Written]

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